what does being a grown up mean?

I don’t want to intrude, but a mistake a lot of women make is to think that not thinking about something makes it disappear, when it’s an emotional issue. That thinking couldn’t be farther from true.

As in, you drink to loosen up/open up? I don’t know how it works with girls and I don’t know how it works for girls and their fathers. What helped me get over things with my mom, though was to see her as what she was. She’s a useless underachiever. And she’s really good at that. But you can’t expect any more out of her. She’s guaranteed to disappoint.

Your dad seems like a class A jackass, but you’ve got to still look in the mirror and see him there every day. He’s a part of you, but he’s not going to be everything. You don’t have to let him have the last word. As cliche as it sounds, who do you WANT to be? You are not tied down to anything at this moment that I’m aware of,right? No spouse. No house arrest? Nothing? You can go anywhere.

If you feel like everything’s telling you how useless you are or how unimportant or how completely at fault for everything, change locations for a while. You sound like you could use a new viewpoint. As for the guys…You’re picking the guys that make you feel safe, right? Cause you know you don’t have to offer them much? About the best advice I can give on that is make a practical checklist.

And stick to it. Women tend to rationalize for men and put up with a lot of crap they shouldn’t have to. Put down what you need, not what you want. I recommend some stringent standards as well, because a guy at 30 that doesn’t have a job is probably a lying coniver and highly manipulative. That’s just my experience.