Passive Aggressive Anger

February 17, 2021 – 8:59 P.M.

After work Kail and I went for a drive to get a cookie and pick up some kind of trash food for dinner. When I dropped her off her partner came down to help her cause she also had her baby in the carseat and diaper bag with her. So as she’s getting out of my car I hear him say, “hi C” which I ignore. Then continue to ignore him and avoid eye contact with him.

I was just sitting here wondering what kind of bad behavior that is for me to ignore a person and avoid eye contact because this isn’t the first time I’ve done this to an individual. I laughed when I saw “passive aggressive anger” come up in the search results. It’s fitting but at the same time it doesn’t quite fit perfectly. My anger is definitely there. But I wouldn’t say I’m meaning for it to come off as aggression when I’m purposefully ignoring someone. I guess what I’m saying is I’m actually feeling more indifferent and not interested in talking. Not necessarily that I’m just so seething with anger I shut down and am trying hard to make them feel bad. Not only that, I happen to be an aquarius and according to lots of horoscopey things about zodiac traits, being “detached” comes up every single time haha

But why am I being so childish? Good question. Last Saturday Kail and I went out shopping to get all these things for Valentine’s so she and her partner could have a nice one. I had some errands of my own and it’s always nicer going with someone rather than alone especially the day before Valentine’s Day. The day was great. It was nice spending time together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company amidst the grouchy procrastinator bunch. It ended with me picking her partner up from work so he didn’t have to walk (he doesn’t drive) and dropping them both off at their place. That night she calls and long story short he hurt himself in a way that he had to go to the hospital. The next day he calls and doesn’t even apologize. He asks her leading questions to get some sympathy or something from her which he doesn’t get. This drives him to then call her back later in the evening and tell her he thinks they should break up and he doesn’t want to live together, he thinks they’re toxic and blah blah blah. All these things Kail has already told him many times before in past arguments. He only did it to hurt her and get a rise out of her. Then the next day he backtracked and whatever. I don’t know much of the details. I just know he told her he’d call her the next day. Next day rolls around and he waited until 7 in the evening to call. Making her wonder where he was all day, if he was alright. His excuse was they were really busy and a lot of people needed to use the phone lol This could very well be legitimate but you can never tell with someone who lies compulsively. Especially when said individual has used this kind of excuse/acted this way before when they were in a long distance situation. I’m just honestly so grossed out by the manipulation. The fucking lengths he went to specifically hurt her and to gain attention. She spent the whole time being very emotional and stressed out.

I’m seriously so fucking sick of him. There was already a lot of other shit he’s done in the past that has made it hard to tolerate him. He was already on thin ice with me.

I mean does it feel good to treat him like that? No, it doesn’t. I’m not getting enjoyment from it or wanting to hurt his feelings I just seriously don’t want to talk. I’m not ready to talk. I don’t want to put in the effort or time. Just give me space. I’m going to sound narcissistic but it’s annoying to constantly have to be the one who gets over the anger and “get over” what he does in order to maintain good standing with my sister. It’s just uuuuugh. So frustrating.

I’m not trying to be insensitive. I know what he did isn’t something you take lightly. However, it is so obvious his motives were vindictive and spiteful.

I understand for the relationship of my sister to stay healthy I have to work this out and just support her but I am telling you, it is so difficult. I have no idea how parents do this with their children haha I don’t trust him at all. I haven’t for a long time now. A few years I’d say. I honestly don’t think he’s a bad person. I just think he’s not good for her. Like really not good for her. I know she’ll see it some day. For now I dunno. I’m just going to try to get it to a cordial place and try to mind my business.