As the saying goes…

Written February 2, 2021

All good things come to an end… and fortunately, bad things do too.

It’s no secret that I have been struggling with a specific individual. It’s one of the only reasons I have written last year and obviously why I’m writing now. But of all the ways I pictured this ending… this was definitely not it.

Toward the end of August I was tired of dealing with what a shitty friend “bestie” was to me. He wasn’t very talkative and when he was it was just about himself, twitter, video games etc. It was one sided and very clear he didn’t give a shit about me. So I ended up just blocking him and tried to forget about him. Which I did for the most part. Then one night I had to sign into my old kik account (the one I used to talk to him on) and he had messaged saying it had been a while and how am I doing? I responded with a very curt ‘I’m good thank you’ only to see he was signed out of kik. A couple weeks went by and it bothered me, why he decided to message me like that? Did he really care how I was doing or was he just bored? Knowing the answers but it got the best of me, I broke down and texted him. He actually responded and I got to say all the things I wanted to, and he played along trying to say all the things he thought I wanted to hear. Then getting to the real reason he reached out to me that night; trying to get fresh with me lol oh wow. That was not happening. He was very persistent and pushy. So I just said I had to go and ignored his next couple of messages. You’re just gonna leave me hanging? Damn that’s cold 🥶 That was the last of it… until 3 days before Christmas.

Out with Kail one night I get a friend request from bestie and then a message and then another request from a username I recognized to be his girlfriend’s. I let it sit for a while then decided to answer the girl. Long story short she was trying really hard to be hard and to make sure I knew he was hers. This is very odd to me. Why is she being so aggressive? How does she even know me? What has she seen for her to feel threatened by me…? I didn’t get it. But before any real resolution could happen she just blocked me and fucked off. That bothered me for a while. I tried messaging bestie asking wtf was that? but he had blocked me too.

From then it bothered me but I tried letting it go. It wasn’t until a few days ago I tried messaging him from an old texting app I had some years ago that it started up all the bs again. His girlfriend went ballistic, calling me and messaging me rude things, tearing me down. Thankfully that ended in an hour long phone call between us exchanging the real story and getting the truth out. Apparently he had been talking all kinds of shit about me to her. His perspective completely skewed. That is what had bothered me the most. The flat out lies about me as a person. I couldn’t even confront him because like I said, I was blocked.

Also what spawned me to write is when things were going bad and I felt really defeated and upset about our friendship/relationship in danger of being over, he had mentioned something about being optimistic. Thinking back I’m like optimistic about what? I don’t even know wtf he meant. But that same night I happened to see this sign on an old movie theater board that said, “Choose to be optimistic, it feels better!” as I was driving by. I had been feeling very low in that moment so I took it as a sign (symbolically). Not only that but that same night I was looking at a receipt I had in my bag when I noticed the cashier’s name was the same as my bestie’s. So I wrote the quote on the receipt and tucked it in my wallet where it became a forgotten piece of junk. I looked on my insta today and saw this old post which jogged my memory about the folded up receipt. I really wasted no time. I found it, took it to the bathroom along with a small box of matches. Holding the receipt in one hand and the burning matchstick in the other, I held the flame directly under the name. It immediately turned black I was actually kinda surprised. Then the whole thing went up in flames so quickly in a blink-and-you-might-miss-it kind of way that I had to shut my bathroom door due to the smoke alarm being right outside in the hallway haha I guess it’s petty but I honestly don’t care. I was happy to do it, don’t regret it.

Of all the people I’ve encountered online, he by far is the most damaged. I’m not saying that as a bad thing but more just factual. Maybe that’s why I tried so hard to be patient, understanding, compassionate etc. And in all honesty it might be easier on me if I kept that in mind just to understand where the shocking behavior comes from and the weird distorted perspective he had on the whole thing but idk. I’m happy it’s over.