Another Movie Night

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*I’m not taking this off yet, I still have hope…*

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Roger and I are still broken up, but honestly I don’t really want to talk about what exactly happened. Just know I’m okay. I did cry the night he did it (Monday), but I’m fine now. Yea, I’ve cried off and on through yesterday…thats natural. Anyways, we broke up Monday night (around 11ish pm) and then Tuesday he asked me if I wanted to go over and play XBox. I did becuz I had never played a 2 player game with him. It was fun. I was getting a little frustrated becuz I didn’t really know how to play…it was a football game. After that he turned the XBox off and we just sat on his couch and talked. It was great.

Today, I went by his work and took him some gatorade. I stayed for a little while though and didn’t mean to. I went to his house around 3 becuz I had to use his computer. I’m not there 15 minutes and he pulls up. Turns out his boss sent him home early. Cool. So later on during the day around 6 he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies. Excuse me? *LoL* He asked me again and I was like ok…? We went to see Walk The Line again. Great movie!! When we left his house and I got in his car, he had the CD I burned him yesterday which just had 1 song on there, ours. He was listening to it. Made me feel good.

Us and one more couple were the only people in the theater. He was flicking popcorn at me and thumping me. It was cute. It was so fucking hard to not hold his hand or snuggle with him!! Eventually I had my head cocked to the side and he put his head on mine and he cupped my face with his hand and started rubbing it – somehow our mouths managed to get so close and he tried to kiss me and I pulled away and said I can’t. Well, after a few minutes I gave up and said what the hell and I just grabbed his face and kissed him. Soft gentle kiss with a little (I stress little) tounge action. It was so sweet!! After that happened I didn’t know what to do and I whispered in his that I was sorry and I hoped he didn’t feel uncomfortable. He didn’t.

We left the movies and pulled up to his house to where my car was parked. He walked me to my car and we hugged like we never wanted to let go. I came home and found his ex Holli online and then he got online.

A bunch of shit has went down about them. Found out some things that hurt me, but didn’t make me cry. I suspected all along…I’m not stupid. I’d ask him about something having to do with them and he’d lie straight to my face. It’s ok. Over-and-done-with!!

So now Holli and I are emailing each other and talking on MSN messenger! WTF! She’s even suppose to be meeting me at my work tomorrow cuz she works at the same mall and she also has to work. OMG….what am I doing? She told me she knew I was bi and I could try not to weird her out!! I straight up told her that she isn’t my type….and all the while Roger and I were talking on the phone. He was just laughing and so was I. Bout the only thing I could do. She also asked me how I was bi. I told her that was for a later convo.

I’m being as mature as I can about this. Roger and I talked on the phone just a little bit ago for almost an hour. I told him everything I felt like I needed to. He seemed pretty happy about it.

Maybe everything will work out for the best. Like I said above, I’m not taking the ticker off just yet…I still have faith!

Nothing has really changed between us except we dont say I Love You…but tonight I was kidding with him cuz after our long talk we were both in good moods (although he was about to pass out cuz he was so tired) I told him "I Heart Him"…*LMAO* and and right before we got off the phone I told him again and he started to say something along the lines of I Heart You except with no heart!!…and I told him to just quit and to tell me that when he means it. Save it for my birthday cuz he claims he’s gonna take me out to dinner. WOOHOO… He also asked me to accompany him to his work Christmas dinner at the all you can eat buffet Ryans. I accepted only becuz I get along with all the people he works with. So We’ll have to see what happens.

This guy that got fired from Roger’s job, Allen, called me last night trying to seriously mack on me!! He even asked me out on a date this weekend. It’s probably be good for me to not just sit home and think about who or what Roger is doing….but I said no. Now that’s all ROger is talking about, nagging me and joking with me about it.

That’s all for now. Good night!

PS….one of my top 3 fave diarists had her baby!! her diary name is : missyanne24