You’ve taken my life…

… so take my soul.

I have made all my entries private. From here on, I’ll be favorites only.

This entry is solely for the benefit of the person who decided to rip off my diary and pass it off as their own, since i know that none of the people who are my favorites would ever do something so … pathetic? revolting? sad? take your pick. and that you would take something so personal and pass it off as your work of fiction… that is pure evil. and for what? $100 and 3 free copies?

it was purely by coincidence that i discovered i was a published author. i happened to send away for a few back issues to some smallish literary journals to see what kinds of stories they published. i have a few stories i would like to get out there. imagine my surprise when i opened one to see that i had beaten myself to it. different names, a title i never would have picked, but very certainly i was reading about the days before andrew’s … i’m sorry, ryan’s… death.

i guess its nice to know that i am capable of writing material that people want to read. but that entry wasn’t written for entertainment purposes. it was written for me. this diary was the only place i had to let my feelings out, to work through all the confusion and sadness that comes with watching the only person i will ever really love die. yes, i chose to make those feelings semi-public, but not for literary criticism. i did so because when you are going through moments of unimaginable pain, it is nice to just know that someone, somewhere hears you.

but clearly that is a luxury i can no longer afford. i hope you feel really proud of yourself.