memory is bittersweet

Two days ago, I was talking to Matt about going over to Saudi sometime in the future to go scuba diving in the Red Sea… its the only reason that the government will let us in as tourists. He expressed his concern with all the violence that has been taking place overseas… I pointed out that my ‘hometown’ of Yanbu had been safe thus far and was a fairly safe distance from the violence. That was until today.

My mom called me tonight, about 75 min ago, to tell me that they just saw a newsreport on a carbombing of some sort in Yanbu – people died. I look on yahoo and yes, its true. People have died in a sudden outburst of violence. 5 dead. 25-30 wounded. And then 4 bad guys killed by the police.

What was really strange… was that the shooting by the police was in a place that I’ve been… I know what it looks like, where it was… and how scary the location is for violence – its right next to the two Western compounds in that city.

So I started searching on google for info on Yanbu. I can across this website: http://www.isgyis.org/

Folks, I went to school there. The paper said that someone threw a pipe bomb over the wall… luckily, no students were around and only a custodian was mildly injured. But… I went there. When I looked at the website, tears started falling ’cause the picture on the front page is of the entrance… I walked in there every day for a couple years. It is so dear to my heart, my being. It was beautiful.

Then I was just overcome with this sorrow of loss. I thought about the life I had there and how wonderful it was… I even looked up how I could become a teacher there… I could… why not? I could be a school counselor and even teach French… I would love to do that.

But that’s never going to happen, is it. I have to face it. Matt isn’t interested and he even said that he never would be interested in living overseas – just in Europe. Saudi would be ten times more stifling for him. Plus, he’d have to teach high school history and I don’t think he’d enjoy that. But the thought’s nice.

I’m done crying now. It felt good to let that emotion out. And I have to focus on the positive: I had a wonderful experience, and I’m all the better for it.

…right?