To quit or not to quit that is the question

As the holidays bring the year to an end I realize I have not accomplished half of my 2006 goals. This saddens me and I start to feel depressed.

 

I am not a quitter but everyday life gets harder and I consider the ramifications of my actions if I do quit.

 

My children will be sad at first but don’t they say that time will heal all hurts? It is better to have no mother at all than a depressed, unhappy one that never wants to do anything?

 

My husband would be upset but he is young and could always remarry. After all I’m wife number 3, so he could easily get wifey number 4. None of the kids are his biologically so he wouldn’t be tied down.

 

My mother would be mad but I have never really done anything to please her before so what else is new? She probably would raise my kids, but she is well off and they would probably have more opportunities with her than they would me anyway. Plus she has a big insurance policy on me so money is not an issue.

 

My father would more than likely be glad cause then he would never have to worry about me telling more people about the sexual abuse I endured from him.

 

I’m not sure how my maternal grandmother would feel.

 

My paternal grandmother barely knows me so it would be nothing to her.

 

As far as my step-dad not sure where he would stand either.

 

My sisters; One I barely know even though I’ve tried to improve our relationship. The other lives with my mother and they are a lot alike so I’m guessing she’d feel the same as my mother.

 

My god-parents; They probably wouldn’t be surprised but they would be disappointed. But they know what I’ve been going through so they’d have to understand.

 

I know a lot of people. I know some people wouldn’t be surprised & some would.

 

Who knows what will happen.

 

noni angelique