That girl’s up in the atmosphere

I know it’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted any photos here and I’m sorry for that. I’ve more or less shifted my life over to Facebook and have been posting things there. I haven’t even used Photobucket in ages either because of that. So if anyone who isn’t on my Facebook friends list would like to check out my photos from the last year or so (Christmas, two Vermont trips and maybe even as far back as my Alaska trip (I can’t remember) as well as other random things), please feel free to send me a friend request. I have no problems whatsoever about adding people from here. I know some people have a problem with the two worlds colliding, but I don’t. I tend to refrain from speaking much about OD in the ‘real’ Facebook world, but other than that, I welcome the company! Here’s a link for my Facebook, should anyone be interested. Some photos are public and some are ‘Friends only’, but I know there are lots here that some of you have never seen.

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In other news, I’m really feeling like I should get back into photography again. Nearly two years ago when I went to Alaska, my one fear was that I would take some amazing pictures and see some fantastically amazing things and that once I got back home again, everything would seem so incredibly ordinary and boring. Turns out that my fear was right, because that’s exactly what happened. Then I went to Vermont a couple of months later (and again this past summer) and did a TON of picture taking there as well. But in between, there just hasn’t been that much interest in the things around me, unfortunately. I used to be able to take the ordinary and see it in an extraordinary way, but even that seems dull to me these days. I really need to just get out and find places and things to photograph so I don’t become so out of touch that I can’t do it anymore. I did take some great Christmas tree photos this year, some of which I’m quite proud of. But beyond that, I really hadn’t picked up my camera bag except to move it from one spot to another since July. That saddens me. This wasn’t anything I ever thought I’d get weary of. And I guess I’m not really weary or bored of it, but it feels like watching the same movie over and over again. Sure, you can pick out different things you missed the first time when you watch it the second,third, forth time…but after that, you know it all by heart and you’ve already shown it to everyone you know. So now it’s really time to start getting out there and finding things to photograph. This is one crazily expensive hobby to just let die. I can’t do that. Plus, it’s really the only form of art that I’m any good at!

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Moving on! A friend got me sea monkeys for a late Christmas present. I remember having these when I was somewhere around the age of 10. I remember setting them up just before I went with the family for a week long vacation to Vermont. At the time, we had a dog and a couple of birds as well as my hamster, so my grandmother was the one to watch after the animals while we were gone. Now, keep in mind that when you first ‘start’ sea monkeys, they look like little black pepper flakes floating in the water until they hatch. Then they look like tiny little black pepper flakes with tails and you can see them wiggling around. As they get bigger,they grow legs and become a peach colour. They’re brine shrimp, so imagine a shrimp colour. Got it? Ok, well, my grandmother with her bad eyesight thought it was just an ’empty container of dirt’, so she threw out my baby sea monkeys and washed out the container before I got home. All week long I had been SO excited to see how the sea monkeys grew and she completely dashed my hopes. I’d always wanted to try it again, but I had placed such high hopes on that first time around that I just couldn’t bring myself to buy the (super cheap) kit to set it up. I didn’t want to be disappointed yet again.

A few weeks ago, my mother had asked me to make a list of things I wanted for my birthday. Over the years, the surprises she’s tried to give me have all been a bust, except for a couple, so we’ve since decided that it’s SO much easier if I just got to Amazon.com and pick things out and email her the links. I did it for Christmas this year as well, only my entire list consisted of books and DVDs. (I really dislike most of what’s on TV these days, and the television I have in my bedroom is too old to hook the cable box up to, so I stick with my DVD player and I watch the shows and movies I like rather than flipping through 200 channels of nothing.) But those are things I get a ton of use out of, so I didn’t think anything of it. When Mom asked for my list for my birthday, she very strongly hinted multiple times that I should add something ‘fun’ instead of just books and DVDs. I think she felt bad because it seems like ‘boring’ stuff to her. And I can understand that. It’s not exactly fun, even if it’s what I want. So this time, I scoured Amazon.com in search of fun stuff. I came across this little enclosed glass ecosystem that had little sea creatures inside. They’re alive and they live off this viney-branch thing for several years and I never have to water them, etc. I thought they were sea monkeys, but they’re something entirely different.

So on Facebook, I posted a status:

Melissa Teja:
I should have been asleep several hours ago, but I remembered that I was asked by the parents for a list of things I want for my birthday. Is it wrong that I’ll be 30 and I asked for sea monkeys? 🙂
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I got several comments after that telling me that “you’re never too old for something like this!”

Later on that day, I was getting together with a friend who I hadn’t seen in over a year and we were going to exchange the birthday and Christmas presents we had collected for each other. This woman knows me *very* well and we both have that ‘kid at heart’ mentality. However, she is NOT technologically savvy and is NOT on Facebook at all. So imagine my surprise when I unwrapped a sea monkey habitat!! It was fate! It was meant to be! 🙂 I couldn’t get over it. In fact, it still amuses me greatly.

But I was nervous because I’ve never done well with aquatic things in the past. I tried to raise ‘un-kill-able’ fish and they died every other week, so I was spending 1/5 of each paycheck to replace them. It just got ridiculous and I quit. Then there was the previous sea monkey story. And I’ve tried frogs and tadpoles, none of which did well. So I’d pretty much all but given up on the whole idea of aquatic things forever. I also had no idea if I was setting the aquarium/habitat up correctly. Most of those things need distilled or spring water, but the package and instructions didn’t tell me, so I figured I killed them before they even hatched and that they were doomed from the start. Lo and behold, they hatched! Now I have about 30 little swimmers in that habitat. I want to try to get a picture, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to since they’re so small. But I’ll certainly try!

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In yet another news, I was speaking with a friend of mine yesterday, who…well…we’ll just say she’s not extremely well educated and she’s not the best parent, has horrible choices in men and just seems doomed to have drama follow her for the rest of her life. I’ve ranted about her antics here in the past. I also don’t think I’d consider her the greatest friend in the world simply because any time we talk, everything is always all about her. Her drama, her relationships, her life, her problems, etc. A couple of years ago, I told her that my aunt was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and the response I got was, “oh, that sucks. I took the kids to the park today and we had a great time.” All in the same breath like that. Oh, well… ok. She just really knows how to get herself taken care of, too. If she whines enough, people feel sorry for her and just do things for her, like buy her cell phones or loan her large sums of money. I don’t know how she does it. But anyway, even if I don’t consider her my best friend (a friend yes, a best friend…no), she considers me to be hers, which is nice. I won’t deny her that. I won’t argue it. But she and I were talking about how she’s a single mom and she needs to make some kind of decision as to what to do with her almost 3 year old little girl if anything should ever happen to her. At the time, it was just kind of a passing discussion and I threw it out there that if she ever needed me to, I’d try to help her out with the kiddo in some way. She more or less blew me off because that just wasn’t the point of the discussion, so it was fine. Then it came up a little later and I offered again just because she was hinting so hard about it. At first, I didn’t catch on because I had already offered. But then she asked if I’d be willing to take her daughter if anything ever happened to her.

As it stands now, her kids (the three older kids live with their father. The youngest is the one she has custody of because the toddler has a different dad.) already call me “Aunt Jersey” (they have lots of Melissas in the family and they chose that name for me because I’m from NJ. Clever.), so it wasn’t like they don’t know me. And I have ties to that whole group of friends. I was engaged to Jason when I was very young.. about 18, who moved back to Wisconsin (military brat) and we couldn’t hack the long distance thing, so we broke up. Then he dated a girl he had a crush on back in junior high and they got married. His wife, Amanda was long time friends with a girl named Brandy. And eventually I got to be very good friends with both Brandy and Jason’s best friend Randy. Whew! Follow all that?

Anyway, Brandy had the choice of leaving her daughter to her mother or to Amanda. Her mother is extremely lazy and is the type to not feed a kid if she doesn’t feel like making food. She’ll just give the kid a bag of chips and let her go to town. Amanda is apparently a very lazy mother as well, in addition to actually having some kind of social service people come out to the house to tell her that she needs to clean the house to get rid of the multitude of bugs that appeared due to the mess.

So without much thinking, even though I’ve never actually met Brandy face-to-face, even though I’ve known her for six years now, she’s decided to make me the ‘guardian’ should anything happen. I was pretty flattered by that. Who wouldn’t be?? Granted, I’m not holding my breath and nothing will be final until papers are signed and back to her lawyer, but it’s the idea that’s really cool. It means the world to me that I’ve made such a difference in someone’s life that they’d choose me for something like that. It’s not just handing over a set of car keys and saying, “here, you get my truck when I die.” This is a child! A little human being. And that’s awesome to me. 🙂

Originally Amanda had told Brandy that it was ok to put her down as the kiddo’s guardian, but in the earlier part of the email, it sounded more like it was just an irritation rather than a huge compliment to be asked, so I’ll start my copy and paste from that spot. I’ll clean up the typos and misspellings:

Me: “That’s cool about Amanda agreeing to take [kiddo]. I know I said that I’d be willing to do it, but I also know that that’s probably a little weird for you since we’ve never met face-to-face.

Brandy: no not weird, you’re my best friend and no one i trust more, to be honest. i would just feel guilty about the travel to get her to you lol

Me: Aw.. well thanks! That’s why I offered. I mean, if it came down to it (and I’m hoping this will never happen because I want you to stick around for a very long time!!), I’d even move out there so she could be near your family. After all, I’d already have built-in friends that way so it’s not like I’d be living in the middle of nowhere all by myself. So I had already planned that all out in my head before I ever offered. Believe me, it was something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and the right time just sort of presented itself. But of course, the choice is yours! If you’d rather leave her with Amanda, that’s totally fine too! I just didn’t want you to think I offered just as a random thing. It’s definitely not something I take lightly and it’s not something I offered simply because I know you. And I appreciate that it’s a serious issue. I’d be glad to do this for you, but again… only if it’s your choice, not just because I’m offering. I definitely don’t want to be all upset if you choose someone else for such a huge task.

Brandy: yea i just know how amanda is as a mom and a house keeper, i know i’m not the best in the world, but i’d personally feel like the world’s worst mother if i left her there. she needs someone that will sit and talk to her about things, be there for her but not control her but yet pull her back, you know be a mom.. i know you don’t have any kids of your own and amanda has 3, but i couldn’t think of anyone more wise, more safe, or someone who can do anything more than i can do for her myself, than to leave her in your care. at least i know you’ll have a level head.”

End copy and paste. Aww.. right?? How awesome is that?

I have another friend who has, as far as I know, signed me on as the one to receive the money if he’s ever killed on the job (he’s a semi-truck driver) and it’s my responsibility to dole it out to whoever he has listed. I must be doing something right with my life if this is how people view me. And seriously, it’s amazing. Good things might not come to you right away, but if you hold on, you’ll see it happen!

I might feel a little despair now and again at being unmarried at age 30 an being unemployed (but looking) and still living at home (not job, no money, no way to pay rent)… but I look at the people in my life and see how much they trust me and appreciate me, and I feel like I really mean something to the world. It’s these times when one can stand out in the world and essentially be just a speck in the universe, but feel like all the stars are shining just for you because you’re doing something so right. 🙂

I leave you with that, my lovely readers. Don’t forget how special each and every one of you are. You’ve all made a huge impact on my life and I love you all.