‘Cause I need a grip on reality

It seems that I’ve been trying to get back into writing here these days. I know there’s been a long period of time where I’ve only written a couple of entries. Nothing was going on that seemed worthy of writing about. Well, no..that’s not entirely true. It’s mostly true, but the fact of the matter is that if something did happen, it was an ongoing thing that I just couldn’t recap in one entry and by the time all was said and done, I was sick to death of thinking about it or talking about it so I just let it die. So that’s that.

Moving on. I feel …a bit like a bad friend lately. I love the people in my life very much, but I have to be very honest and tell you that the majority of them are driving me completely batty. I can appreciate that everyone has hard times and it seems like everyone I know is going through something difficult right now. But at what point does it just become complaining and whining? Most of the time, these people come to me and their situations are being made out as if it’s just the absolute end of the world, ‘woe is me’, ‘nothing is ever right’, ‘my life sucks’. And truth be told, I’m SICK TO DEATH of hearing that crap. That’s all it is, too. Suck it up and do something to change it or stop whining about it. Anyone, even my mother will tell you that I’m the least sympathetic person on the planet, especially when people get themselves into a bad situation because they made a stupid choice/decision. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, but I also believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps instead of complaining to everyone you know about how horrible your life is. No, it’s not. YOU made it horrible, now get off your butt and change it.

I’m even sick of all the regular, everyday complaints. “My boyfriend is making me mad.” “My friend is driving me crazy.” “I have to talk to someone about something serious and I don’t know how.” People, life is NOT that complicated. Be straight forward and be honest. Why ask me for advice when you KNOW what my answer will be every single time? I’m not one of these game playing females. I don’t beat around the bush and I don’t have time for guessing games. They frustrate me. I tell things as I see them (hopefully with some tact) and I share my opinions. I try not to do TOO much opinion sharing until it’s called for, but sometimes I just can’t help it. I don’t want to see someone make a bad decision. Partly it’s for them, but partly it’s because I don’t want to have to deal with hearing about it later on down the road. I don’t like to get into “I told you so” situations, but the truth of the matter is that I’m really good at noticing patterns in people and I have it down after the same pattern repeats itself twice. That’s all I need to see to know how things happen, so I really try hard to stop it before it happens. Unfortunately, because it’s not my life, I can’t force anyone to do anything…and I won’t try. But I’m sick to death of my opinion being asked and then ignored. If you’re going to ignore me, don’t ask. I don’t have the patience for that anymore.

I don’t know whether I’m just getting ‘old’ and cranky (I’m turning 30 within the week) or what, but the older I get, the more I realize who I am and what I do and do not have the patience/understanding/sympathy for. Especially when it comes to hearing the SAME complaints day after day from the same people. I’m sick of it. When they’re legitimate concerns that people want to talk about, that’s fine. I’m more than happy to listen and be there to talk to someone about their problems. I have zero problem with that at all!

My issue is when this is the 5th time in as many years that you’re having the SAME exact problem. For example, one of my friends continues to choose to date men who are no good for her. This latest relationship of hers lasted two and a half years and before the two of them ever started dating, the man’s own mother told my friend that the man was “an ass and can’t keep a girlfriend because of his horrible attitude.” Doesn’t that send up any red flags AT ALL? But she seems to just jump right into bed and right into a full blown relationship with any guy who shows her the slightest bit of interest. Granted, this last relationship has made this one particular friend FINALLY grow up because she’s actually had to be the adult instead of getting herself taken care of like she’s used to, so she’s changed for the better. But for the last few days, all she’s done is whine and complain to me about how bad her life is and how she ‘sucks’ at choosing guys. Yeah, she does! She can’t bother to hold out for ones who treat her better. Instead, just over the last three and a half years, she’s dated a man who has only used her as a ‘friends with benefits’ kind of ‘date’, a man who refused to be seen in public with her because he actually had another girlfriend who he’d been seeing for a much longer time, a man who also refused to be seen in public with her because he was actually LIVING with his WIFE, and now this latest relationship with a man who sponged off her and used her because she acted more like his mother (paying his bills and cleaning up after him, making him food, buying him things, etc…) than a girlfriend. Grow up and get some self-esteem. Why do people settle for these kinds of people?! I won’t settle for friends like that, let alone men like that. I can’t see wasting my life that way. And now that she’s continuing to whine to me about how awful these men are and how awful her life is, etc, I’m just sick to death of hearing it. I’m just this side of the fence from saying, “you know what, you got yourself into all of this because you wouldn’t grow up and now you’ve gotta deal with it. Grow up, be an adult and make better decisions and JUST MAYBE life will be better. Until then, don’t count on it.”

I’ve just had it. I’ve had it with everyone who comes to me with problems like this. I know it makes me sound like a terrible person, but at this point, I just don’t care. I don’t ever expect people to feel sorry for me when I get myself into bad situations and I don’t complain about it when I do, for that exact reason. It just amazes me that some people have no idea how they sound when it’s this constant. Change your way of thinking, change your life. As hokey as it sounds, it’s true. The more positive you are, the less those stupid little things will bother you. You don’t have to be Little Mary Sunshine all the time, but rather than constantly complaining that your life ‘sucks’, try to enjoy it and quit making a fool out of yourself. I’m done with these Eeyore types. I’ve come ‘THISCLOSE’ to saying something to a couple of them that I don’t know very well, but I bite my tongue because I don’t want it to cause problems elsewhere in my life/relationships. But I’ve certainly wanted to.

End rant.. I think.

~~~~~

In other news, a friend of mine brought up a really good question a couple of months ago. He and I were on the phone when he randomly asked me who I’d want to sit down and talk with if I could meet anyone, dead or alive. He chose to limit the number to 5, and I had no trouble coming up with five people, as I already have historical figure heroes. But the more I thought about it, the more people I was adding to the list, so I thought I’d jot it down here.

1. Helen Keller: “Helen Keller overcame the adversity of being blindand deaf to become one of the 20th century’s leading humanitarians.”

2. Anne Frank: “Annelies “Anne” Marie Frank was one of the most discussed Jewish victims of the Holocaust. Her diary has been the basis for several plays and films.”

3. Jesse James: “Jesse Woodson James was an American outlaw, gang leader, bank robber, train robber, and murderer from the state of Missouri and the most famous member of the James-Younger Gang.”

4. Ronald Defeo: “Ronald Joseph “Butch” DeFeo, Jr. is an American mass murderer. He was tried and convicted for the 1974 killings of his father, mother, two brothers and two sisters.” (His story sparked the hoax book (and later, movie) “The Amityville Horror”.)

5. Clara Barton: “Clarissa Harlowe “Clara” Barton was a pioneer American teacher, patent clerk, nurse, and humanitarian. At a time when relatively few women worked outside the home, Barton built a career helping others. One of her greatest accomplishments was founding the American Red Cross. This organization helps victims of war and disasters.”

6. Jane Goodall: “Dame Jane Morris Goodall, DBE is a British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace. Considered to be the world’s foremost expert on chimpanzees, Goodall is best known for her 45-year study of social and family interactions of wild chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park, Tanzania. She is the founder of the Jane Goodall Institute and has worked extensively on conservation and animal welfare issues.”

7. Paul Watson: “Paul Watson is a Canadian and American conservationist and environmental activist, who founded the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, a direct action group focused on marine conservation.
The Toronto native joined a Sierra Club protest against nuclear testing in 1969. He was an early and influential member of Greenpeace, crewed and skippered for it, and later was a board member.” (Watson states that he was one of the original founders of Greenpeace, but that his way of thinking went against what Greenpeace approved of, so he was booted out and then formed SSCS as his own way of fighting for animal conservation.)

8. Laura Ingalls Wilder: “Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder was an American author who wrote the Little House series of books based on her childhood in a pioneer family. Laura’s daughter, Rose, inspired Laura to write her books.”

9. Jane Seymour (actress): “Jane Seymour, OBE (born Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg; 15 February 1951) is an English actress.” (The woman owns a castle! Who wouldn’t want to meet and hang out with her?!)

10. Jacek Yerka: “Jacek Yerka is a famous Polish painter of fantasy world and landscapes.”

11. Alan Alda: “Alphonso Joseph D’Abruzzo, better known as Alan Alda, is an American actor, director, screenwriter, and author.” (Best known for his role as ‘Hawkeye Pierce’ in “M*A*S*H”.)

12. Ansel Adams: “Ansel Easton Adams was an American photographer and environmentalist, best known for his black-and-white nature photographs of the American West, especially in Yosemite National Park.”

13. And there are definitely other random people who I wouldn’t mind getting to sit down and chat with, though. Authors: Dean Koontz, Christopher Moore, Nick Hornby, Charlaine Harris and Janet Evanovich
Actors: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Shorty Rossi, Tia Torres, Melissa Gilbert, Alison Arngrim, Melissa Joan Hart, Joe Lando, Betty White, Lucille Ball, Kelli Martin, Tippi Hendren.. and probably several others.

I’m too sleepy to think of any others at the moment, but if I could someday meet all of those people, here or in some afterlife somewhere, it would be one hell of a good time for me. 🙂

Who would you most like to meet? I’m very curious! It’s been on my mind to ask you all for some time now.