The Dreads…

Good Morning everyone, its me the princess. I am not normally up and about at such an ungodly hour, however, i woke up with a terrible sense of dread this morning. Like something was way wrong and i cant place it. Heres a little more background info on the situation. If you have been reading my girlfriend which i know some of you have, then you probably know a little bit more about me than others. Anywho..here goes. I was dating this guy for a while, we were living together. Unfortunately he had a drug an drinking problem. And he was jealous of my friends, so basically i would go to work and come home. He even checked my phone to see who i had talked to. It was pretty bad right there at the end. Its amazing what drugs will make people do. I left him. I still love him, though im not sure why, and so I was still seeing him for a time, hoping he would straighten out and realize just what he had lost. I have two kids as well, so we were for all intents and purposes a family unit. So i wasn’t the only person hurt in this whole charade. Oh, yeah back to the dreads…So i woke up with this overwhelming sense that something is way wrong with him, and of course, i cant sleep. I feel like a mother who knows her child is hurt and just cant put her finger on how. GRRRRRRR, boys are stupid and now I’m awake worrying about someone that just didn’t love himself enough to fight for me, and what we had. The relationship wasn’t always bad. He just had bad influences for friends and a very addictive personality. My girlfriend, whom I love very very much, calls him a stupid boy and has helped me through the roughest part of getting over him and the relationship, enough that i don’t feel the need to answer the phone when he calls me at 3 and 4 am to see if i still love him. Yes stupid i do…but I’m not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself. Okay, i think I’ve gotten this out of my system for the time being, Im going to try and go back and get my beauty sleep.