08/23/2012

I need a vavation from work. I got home yesterday sat down on the couch and said "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh silence" out loud. I will be taking a week off in several weeks. I hope the weather will be nice. The heatwave continues here. It isn’t too bad in the mornings though.

I had more vivid dreams last night. In the first one a lady was doing some kind of body energy work on me. She had her hands over me, not touching me. I had to focus intently. The idea was to open the third eye and to open that energy in everyone else in the room. We were in a gym that was full of people. I kept focusing and could feel the waves of evergy. Then everyone began to clap involuntarily. I had the feeling things were about to take a sinister turn. When I woke up I had been sleeping on my back.

Then I had another dream I was with Karl. We had gone to some party and I had this cute brown dog with me. When I left the people insisted I had this big black dog with me, that I didn’t like. So I left with this huge dog. We were driving and this red truck is weaving and hits us from the side. It was right by this bar Whiskeyjacks. Which is by a big strip mall. So we go through the big parking lot. The truck pulls into the parking lot as well but we can’t find it. Karl says he doesn’t know what to do. I tell him it is their fault and he needs to exchange his license info with the person. And if he can’t do that we need to get the license plate.

We find the truck and park. I look and there are three guys in the truck all sitting at the front. Two of the guys start to push and punch the guy who is sitting in the middle. He is trying to fight back but can’t. He tries to escape out of the truck. Then they are standing in front of the car beating him.  I start crying for some reason. I don’t think I would really do that unless it was someone close to me getting attacked. When I have intense dreams I feel as though I haven’t slept as well.

I need to actually work on exercising more and trying to get my weight down. I’m not happy with how I look right now.  I need to just get out there and star walking. I need to just accept that people may talk to me or stare if I do that. I’m ok with people saying hi or being friendly. It is good that people in this city are like that for the most part. I don’t like situations where I feel self conscious though. A few weeks ago I was getting a coffee at one of the Tim Horton’s here. No it was an ice cap not a coffee. I had to wait a few minutes. There was nobody else around. Then this man comes over and is really close to me. I thought maybe he thought I was in line. So I told him I was just waiting. Then he says "oh you look bored." Yes I have full lips so I look bored even when I’m not. I just said I wasn’t and wanted him to go away. Just then I received my ice cap so I could walk away. I know maybe he was just trying to find someone to talk to. I have been in situations like that before though. And usually the guy will try to get my number or something along those lines. Not that it happens often.

I’m more awake now so I should get some work done.