07/14/2012

A townhouse complex a few blocks away was having a community garage sale today. I woke up around 5:30 and went back to sleep. When I woke up again I checked the time on the t.v I thought it was 5:30 again (I didn’t have my glasses on and was sleepy.) But it was really just after 9. So I put a bagel in the toaster & got ready.

I bought an Audrey Hepburn picture to hang on the wall and 2 dvds at the first sale. At the second sale I bought a brand new Adidas shirt and a Paul Frank tanktop. The tanktop is pretty tiny so I will just wear it around my place when it gets hot.

At a third sale I bought some hotwheels cars still in the packages. for someone else. The young guy selling them said he used to collect them. He looked as though he was in his 20’s. He still could have been a teen though? I am bad sometimes with knowing the age someone is. As I was leaving his neighbour said to him "You are selling your Harry Potter Sheets? How will you sleep tonight?" That made me laugh.

The lady at the second sale was trying way too hard to sell me something. She was even trying to sell  me her daughter’s hoodie which was cute. But it was an extra large. Then the lady says to me "Oh it will fit you." I’m not an x-large so I found that odd. She was trying to get me to try it on. I took a pic of the Audrey Hepburn picture and I did smokey eye makeup on myself that was way too much Just a while ago. I don’t wear my makeup like that when I go out. I just wanted to see what it would look like on me. The verdict is in pics alright but in reality too heavy.

I was just reading an old journal. I don’t know if I rewrote this in here or not in the past. It was written about 13 years ago. It is kind of deep but also morbid. And inspired by Morrison I think

3 & 1 and 2 makes 5 no-one here gets out alive. Trapped in a coffin 6 feet underground I have looked everywhere but there is no-one around.

now that I have come back from hell, I would like to tell the tale, my insansity hidden like a transparent veil.

I can’t tell my knowledge or I will be thought insane, my thoughts may seem twisted yet to myself they are sane. The volcano errupted I felt the forest ablaze and I felt the flames lick my feet. I almost sold my soul for sanity but then I somehow came back in one piece. When your mind is numb and your thoughts are gone you don’t know who you are or if this person will stay?

A smile is untraceable on the lips there is no pain exceopt for the consuming pain in my mind that shredded me apart. I thought I was drawn into myself. I pretended I didn’t care. But I have come back half dead and found I was unaware. I stared death in the face its icy fingers entwined in mine. Now I am back and the mask of death lies behind my eyes. Don’t look around, look straight into yourself and tell me what you see. Hypnotize yourself with your own eyes, and then you will be free.

What should matter except mainly you? Count on yourself and wishes will still come true. Nothing will be the same, have I changed my fate? Twisted my life, my mind around with careless abandon. Strange planes of the astral kind twist into our lives and minds. However everything is so closed off to it, that we are blind. You are your own god/goddess and I am my own as well. A great deal of our fate is balanced in our own hands and we can cherish it or let it slip through.

I have no money grunge is a trend my life is slipping by and I have no boyfriend. I’m just getting older and as time slips by without a honey my life aint fly. Take me on a magic carpet ride expand your mind and open your eyes real wide. I don’t know what they want, as strange as it may seem I can just be me. I try to change and reorganize but I have to be free, I have to be me. Yesterday seems so far away yet it passed by in a blue. My time was a rhyme but now it is all fine. So small and frail I have an angel face, so sweet and innocent. It is the facade I display but behind these eyes I have seen it all. I wrestled with the grim reaper struggled for the final count and escaped with something precious, my life.