Husband moved out

Today. Happy fucking Valentine’s day.

So….it’s been a VERY long time since I wrote in here. At some point a couple years ago I freaked out about the possibility that J would somehow stumble on my diary and read it, so I deleted all my old entries. But somehow my diary is still here, and now I need to write stuff.

I’m not sure if any of my old friends are still around. I hope so!

Anyway, too much has happened in the last few years to properly update. I have two awesome little girls now, and I love being a mom more than anything in the world.

J has been cheating on me for almost a year now with some slutty bitch from his work. He’ll insist it’s over and I try to move past it because I don’t want my girls to lose their daddy, but he has never even tried to end it. The truth is, we haven’t loved each other for a long time now.

Still, I’m fucking devastated about this. Not so much for myself….to be honest it’s a bit of a relief to be done with him. But my sweet little girls don’t deserve to have a broken home. Little K is stomping around the living room in dress-up clothes screaming "I a beautiful princess ballerina!!" and she has no idea her daddy isn’t coming home tonight. I don’t know how or what to tell her. She loves the crap out of her stupid daddy even though he has been cold and distant with her since she was born.

Baby T is chewing on her feet, and it breaks my heart that divorced parents and a broken home is all she will ever know.

I’m just feeling very alone, but at the same time very ready to start the next chapter of my life. No more getting put down, cheated on, and just basically disrespected. It’s just us girls now and we’ll be ok.