On the rocks

I suppose I abandoned plans for regularity in timeliness, but not for layout.

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Something I decided to call purity of experience is incredibly important to me. When taking in a piece of media, I think it’s vital for you to experience it the way the creator intended. Simple as this may sound, you’ll soon find yourself bombarded by interuptions and distractions and even tampering (commercials, idiots talking, and even editing). My ideal approach to a movie/video game/book is to know nothing about it except that it’s good. No previews, no summary, no synopsis. This is pretty difficult, but in the rare instances that I manage, where I’m enjoying what I see, what better to happen than an interruption during the climax? “Of course” is my reaction.

Suspension of disbelief is a difficult thing to maintain, but there’s something to be said for moments when you forget everything else that exists except the world of what you watch. There’s a lot to be said. I say it’s as good as dreaming.

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I think that someone defacing property in the name of Jesus is funny enough all on its own, but the truly clever see and understand potential humor in a way to bring absolute hilarity about. I found the following graffiti on a stall of the lower level math building bathrooms.

Notice the handwriting change; you can see the top three lines were written first, and the rest was added.

Even the offended have to admit: that’s pretty funny.

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Jealousy was just never my style. That’s a general way to put it, I suppose I actually have lots of legitimate reasons.

I’ve never really been big on pride. I don’t have a lot of respect for the concept, simply because I don’t see it get much done. Not the pride itself at least… but it can be easily faked without consequence when needed and I never have to worry about it getting in the way. I certainly have no contempt for the prideful, that’s just who they are. As long as they be themselves on their own time, then it’s fine by me.

The second girl I ever dated was the first (I know of) to cheat on me. She told me herself the night before the day some of her friends told me a different, more incriminating story. I didn’t really get upset that she cheated on me; when she told me, I asked her if she would rather be with the other guy, she said no, I said ok. I was pretty unhappy that she partially lied to me about it, her need to lie made me feel like she didn’t know me. I would much rather have anyone I’m dating prefer to be with me, but I’m alright with letting them make a choice for their own happiness, as long as they let me know ahead of time, or as soon as they can. I think my passive approach might come from a sense of security. I never really felt threatened.

I’ve never come close to cheating on anyone I dated. I don’t see how it’s a problem.

I think my lack of jealousy has been severely misinterpreted several times as lack of care. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s just that when I care about someone, I’m respectful of their agenda. Seems simple enough to me.

As for people being jealous of me, I usually just expect them to get over it. Getting in pants is not really a priority for me, and never has been. Not sure why well over 99 percent of males are always harboring ulterior motives for their lady friends, it seems awfully counterproductive to the concept of building trust and friendship to me. Most of my girlfriends have done just that– gotten over it. I guess I don’t have as many female friends as I did. But at the time I wasn’t giving them up for retarded preferences that could be dealt with by any amount of reason.

I’m also not saying that all men or women should be exempt from suspicion. Just me.

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Things hum on much the same as before, but with less a sense of dormancy about my person. Not surprisingly, I abandoned the policy of not seeing anyone, and instead made some friends from work. One, really. I still maintain that a true solitary existence wouldn’t be half bad, and that I wouldn’t be half bad at it.

I spent a day with my father at his lakehouse. Coming in that package are a stepmother and two half brothers, 10 and 12 years old. Obviously, I’m the coolest person those kids ever met, and they love me. I see my father halfway between sometimes and rarely, since he lives 200 miles away. Also adoring me, their dog sleeps at my feet whenever I stay.

I spent a couple of days north of where I live with my gambler friend. We played video games, smoked, watched movies, and played cards. General hanging out. The time frame I have now gives me about 5 months before I move to Vegas. It may be sooner, he got up at 4:30 pm and made $3100 today. As for attachments to where I am now, I try not to pay attention, but I’m pretty sure if I thought about it, I would be very ready to leave. I know I am, but I don’t feel antsy. I know I would if I let myself.

But I’m trying to fight the restlessness (mostly by ignoring and denying the hell out of it).