further down the rabbit hole

i’m falling apart
in the wisps of an old town

it’s the dead of night
and i’m flying through
out to in
on crumbly old
Missouri miles
along side the thrumming
bass line
of a thousand stallions
ghostly calvalry
warriors, braves
shot down and desecrated
by the hands of my ancestors
the funny thing is
they’re my ancestors too

and i’m here
more than i ever want to be
aching for somewhere i won’t be
just another thing falling apart

that’s what this place is
really
falling apart
buildings
bonds
relationships
just a big blackhole
sucking up the universe
like it’s no one’s business

but it’s mine
and i have an unjustified
soap box backed word
or two
to say

i stare and stare
like a dead man to the sky
and it doesn’t help
makes it worse really

i sneak
and i plot
and i come so close
like i’m willing the veil torn asunder
and i can almost feel the nearness of you
before my resolve breaks
and i’m left longing
silently pleading
questioningly
in your rearview
and you fucking drive away

i’ll be something i can never have