Trying to keep a smile

As it says, I’m trying. It’s kind of an ugly forced smile though. Like acceptance. I’ve accepted the fact I’m alone and may be for the rest of my days. I accepted the fact that I may never again have a “good friend”, just nice people. I’m no longer the “fun” guy at work or even the most moral and empathetic. I’ve accepted the fact that my past and pains have turned me into a pretty miserable man and although I am more open, I will never be like I was before and that really makes me sad.