Therapy

So tomorrow morning I get with a new therapist. Part of me is done with it all. This is like the 6th this year. IDK what to even say anymore because it just hasn’t seemed to help me. Or maybe it has and I’m to broken.

I mean Harmonia dropped me because they thought they couldn’t help. They were the ones feeding me meds for God’s sake

Where do I even start? I expect too much I guess. I want that “answer”. The one that makes the “madness” end and I know I won’t get it.

I don’t want to rehash all the drama again. It hear the key words like general anxiety or abandoemt issues. I don’t want to break down crying again. How much is too much.

I can’t even mention my kids or ex and I fall to pieces.

I just want to feel normal and stop dreading living.

rav diablo

I went through a period like that: I was being harassed at my job, and my marriage was coming to an end. I moved out of the house and was living in the spare room of an acquaintence who needed some money, so we didn’t interact very much. After a lot of turmoil, all I focused on was living a “normal” day – I just had my breakfast, went to work and did my best to avoid any conflicts, which meant I just did what I had to do. I came home, prepared my meal, read and watched some tv, went to bed. Weekends I went to services, took walks in the park, not much else. And that was all. I repeated this every day, no drama, no novelty, just pretty much the same every day. And it was really comfortable.

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@ravdiablo I have try that over and over. I think because I have some guilt towards not being the father I want to me and the one I am to my kids, causes me to spiral everyday.

I have a open custody visitation agreement, so I can see them anytime, which I do, but I can’t get wrapped around my head. That and the speed of time. I divorce about 6 years ago and time has gone to fast and I missed much of their childhoods and I blame myself for it.

Another issue is living day to day, paycheck to paycheck . I have no fallback no plans. I’m living on thin ice and is cracking all around me.