The sterilized father

No, my “stuff” works, I’m talking about how I have been regulated to being the father I am and not allowed to be the one I want to be. Maybe it’s me? Maybe I should be happy to have such little responsibilities? Maybe it’s the fact I take shit from people who put me into this situation or never stood up for me while I was put in it.  It’s like leaching a dog to a tree in the back yard and yelling at it to come in…

When I say I like with constant guilt, this is what I mean. I get lectured about living a single carefree life as if I left, by the ones who forced me out by cheating, lying, and blaming and somehow I have to tell myself that I’m ok.