Quasimodo
My confidence and self image were destroyed by the divorce and the months following it. The lack of friends, family, or the occasional person you bump into in life just added salt to the wound. Yes, I’ve complained about this probably every 3rd entry, I know.
Anyway, I went shopping and tried to talk and joke with several people. Nothing horrible, just the “how are you” or “wow these prices” or the general hello. NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Well unless you count the dirty looks, turned up noses, and frankly a look that was a cross between disgust and annoyance a something. I has brought me to another new low about how I feel about me and my looks.
Patty left me for someone I would consider not the great looking, but my opinions of him are skewed, but when I was with her and my kids in my “bubble” I didn’t care what others thought. She was always my biggest fan, until wasn’t. I became, what I feel like, Frankenstein’s monster turned loose on the world, just without the little girl offering me a flower so I can throw here in the lake.
I no longer feel connected to anything and as much as I’ve tried, it all seems as though I am some mutant to be avoided at all costs.
If you’re thinking that’s a good picture, it took 100 takes and a shit ton of filters.
LOL as a girl who takes a lof selfies it sometimes takes me a lot of takes to get the right one….and then I break out the filters. I think its that way for the majority of people.
You look totally fine and you are not ugly. We are always our worst enemies. The way you see yourself and percieve yourself is often not what is in reality.
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My profile pic for my Open Diary is me but it’s -highly- stylized and filtered and that’s not even my real hair. It was more of an artistic picture.
But anyways, it is really nice to see what you look like 🤓
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Also, how was your energy you were putting out to others whilst shopping? Were you leading with your heart, did your energy feel light and gentle or did you notice in your body that your energy felt heavy, anxious?
I’ve been an empath and highly sensitive to “energy” for my whole life but only in the last few years was able to I guess harness and be aware of it.
If others around you gave you a cold shoulder it’s because you give off that energy first. Energy is contagious. The way you perceive yourself is what others will perceive you as. We are all spirit and all give out and recieve energy . Took me years to learn that. Make sense?
@anhmymuminah I honestly started out pleasant. Maybe when I started to hit people with my cart and then screamed “NOTICE ME” things took a turn…LOL 🤪
Just kidding, I always try to project a totally made up pleasant attitude.
@newt316 A made up pleasant attitude is not entirely authentic though. People can sense inauthenticity at an unconscious level and know when others are faking it.
You have to have a vulnerable open heart to make sincere connections with others. Scientifically the heart has a very powerful electromagnetic energy field and that energy can be extended 3 feet out side the body and can be felt by others. A calm heart has steady a beat that others can sense, a anxious heart has a more chaotic energy.
So our heart energy can mirror our inner emotions and project that energy outside of you.
read this:
https://mo-mentumfitness.com/the-contagious-power-of-your-heart/
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I am surprised because after all you’ve said I thought you must be an ugly guy but you are most certainly not ugly :-). I love seeing a picture of you!!
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I wouldn’t say it’s anything about your looks or personality with the whole shopping thing. I’ve also found people to be generally rude in public. I’m so amazed when anyone is actually nice! Someone flat out ran into me yesterday morning at the grocery store- no excuse me, no sorry… nothing. So, it’s not just you.
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You look like a great guy! Stop being so hard on yourself! From what I have read; that you have written, you come across as a person I would be honored to call my friend, in person, and I am honored to call my friend online. xxx
@ncumisa oh shucks ☺️ LOL
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