Not at home at home anymore

It’s funny how my hometown has turned into her hometown. People don’t know me, but know her through my kids.

“You’re Patty’s boys” or ” You’re Ed’s stepsons” is all I hear when I’m out with my children. They don’t care if I’m my kid’s father. They don’t care if I was born and raised here. She’s somehow has taken my past away too.

I still wonder what I did for all of this. What crime did I commit against her for the hate? What hurt I caused to lose everything, friends, family, my own past?

All I want is to not be lonely, yet here I am like some scarlet letter wearing person. No one approaches and every one leaves.

I could understand if I was a horrible drunk or an abusive asshole, but I couldn’t have been a better man, friend, brother and husband.

5 years is seems as if God is punishing me for some evil I did. Every good I have comes with mountains of bad.

I realize I sound like a whiney baby, but even the shittiest of people around me have a person in their life. Friends that care. Family that includes.