My break down

I’m not sure how to explain my break down other than it was a long time coming.

I was actually quite comfortable with the job having fought hard for almost a year to get my store working how I needed to. Then in an instant it was over. Someone had said I harassed them and I was suspended. I lost my store and was sent to the most messed up store you could think of. I was back to 16 hour days no time off. The harassment came back unfounded but too late for me.

Then it happened, the panic attack driving to work, the anxiety at work. All the hours catching up to me, overwhelming me. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate on the job. I couldn’t handle the everyday things.

I thought some time would help, but it really hasn’t. Still having panic attacks, still feeling overwhelmed. I had to quit because they would not allow me or I wasn’t there long enough to have a leave of absence. I would never have imagined I wouldn’t be able to find a job I could do.

Yes I had an opportunity or two for work but they were both out of my comfortable zone, way out. I know deep in my heart I couldn’t do them, but I have to apply for so many per week.

I’m gonna ng to assume most who write hear and some who read understand what a mental break is. The last two months were spent without a therapist, another story, which now I finally have.

The savings are gone and I don’t know if I qualify for social service help. I don’t know what I’m going to do 😔