Lonely

I’ve learned that my faceless friends on the internet who have never met me are more friends to me than the ones that are actually down the road. I think the only Holiday greeting I received over the last couple weeks came from an older lady who was essentially cornered at the store by me and couldn’t get by me fast enough.

I’ve reached a point where I can no longer take people at their word. Not “friends” or family. I don’t remember how many times I heard the line “If I was there or closer, I would defiantly meet up for drinks or dinner” only to learn they were and they didn’t. I’m not stupid, I know their words are the same as the comforting words one gives at a funeral. “If you need anything, I mean anything, just call me”  No one really means it, everyone just says it.

Who am I to call them out? Their Facebooks and Instagram’s do it for them. There they stand with several friends at the local bar in my hometown commenting on how great it is seeing old friends and family, yet they tell me they were just so busy they never found a moments peace. I guess the fact they try to lie to save my feelings is something.  Between you and me though, I would rather have a harsh truth than a kind lie. Kind lies have ruined my life over the last 3 years.

“I won’t bring him around the kids”

“I just need some time”

“We can do counselling”

“I want us to have joint custody”

“I’ll be there for you”

“I’ll call you when I get home”

“I love you”

So many kind lies…