Lonely

I don’t remember ever being this lonely in my life. I used to look forward to the occasional “me” time, now I would give almost anything to be annoyed by the occasional neighbor. Now with the whole BPD diagnosis, it just seems to have gotten worse. I suppose that is my fault. I put it out there to everyone thinking that finally here’s  what was wrong  with me all these years and people would maybe come around or call, but no. If anything I think they all see me as a big attention whore.  I feel like the person who gets cancer and all everyone says is, ” well he should have quit smoking”