It’s January 4th

The day doesn’t have any significance for me but I couldn’t think of a title.

So I have become a victim of the Ozempic craze. I can’t seem to find it anywhere around here at the moment. At least it’s not an anxiety pill that you can’t miss.

I’ve been forcing myself to think differently than I do. Pushing myself to give up the thoughts of family and relationships. My son called me out of the blue, which I don’t really think was out of the blue, but I’ll take it. It’s harder than I thought because it also makes me realize I have a lot of trouble living in a moment. I long for the past and dread the future, but everyone I’ve allowed myself to exhaul, shit happens.

I was extremely comfortable in my marriage and then BOOM. I was enjoying my job and making plans then BOOM. I thought my friends would be there to help and BAM they just do the opposite. So thus whole live in the moment for me isn’t going well. I feel like I haven’t done enough eventhough I can’t afford too. It’s raining and just a muddy snowy shit show outside so there’s nothing there. My dumbest had to move away from the kids, so it’s not a quick jog from them.

Ugh