Insirational quotes????

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

What a freaking stupid saying this is… What a brush-off this phrase is to someone. To me, it ranks up there with saying:

” If you love her/him, you should be happy for them, even if they’re in a new relationship”

Do you know what that says to me? It says that somebody just does not want to talk to you about your pain or if the “leaver” says it, it’s just a condescending way of them not taking the blame for their part of the break up while being a total sarcastic asshole. Think about it. If you love your ex and it’s tearing you apart for years, you at least should have a smile because your ex is having the time of their life because they trashed yours. It’s like being in a horrible car crash with a drunk driver. You are permanently disabled and will have years of pain and suffering, but you should be happy for the drunk driver because they walked away uninjured. That’s fucked up, isn’t it? Yes, I’m a Christian and I should forgive my enemies and my abusers, but I’m a fair-weather one and I just cannot. Although, between here, Facebook, and even Reddit, I have been answered with good advice and understanding, yet in the “real world” I have been nothing but blown off by everyone and their brother.

” No crying over spilled milk”

Much to my dismay, the psychiatrist would not prescribe anything to allow me to be a Zombie as I wanted. I have never been a fan of drinking so I can’t drink the thoughts away. Same with drugs, hard drugs I mean. What has always helped me is apparently lost to me now. My parents are dead and gone, same as my daughter.  Everything else is MIA. Quite literally I would have to not watch tv, listen to music, shop at 6 am, and never leave the house except for work and even there refuse to wait on couples, to not be triggered into my depression. Anything to avoid couples in love and families. Almost everything reminds me of what I lost and the only thing that doesn’t is going to the bathroom. Yes, that sounds stupid, but it was one of the only things I did without her or the kids.

I guess some people just can’t be cured or can move on. I am one of those people. Other than her leaving me for him, there was nothing else that made me unhappy with her in the 20 years. Obviously, I cannot say that about her, but she did a masterful job of convincing me that there wasn’t.

I’m tired of talking about this. The whole healing everyone says will happen if all I do is journal my thoughts, doesn’t seem to have done anything for me. I just feel like I was a total waste of a person. I have done nothing to make anyone’s life any better. Even my children have thrived without me there to guide them. He’s there for that.

” He may have been my Father, but you’re my Dad”

I’m not sure what I will write going forward, it may just be my uneducated radical thinking about things.

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