How would you know

I find it so funny that people, mostly women, do not understand or empathize with what the broken up with person is feeling. No, not the simple we’ve dated for a bit type of break. I’m saying the years long, marriage with kids and living a way of life break.

She says, “it’s been almost 3 years, any feelings or issues are yours and not my fault.” Yes, the same woman who secretly planned her leaving, had the next relationship in the chamber, and blew your head off in a day. She never missed a beat of life, still has the house, the kids, the stuff, and a new guy to fill your role. You’re left with bills and debts so she can have a fresh start after turning the blame on to you. She and his words telling everyone that used to be in your world, how you destroyed the marriage and deflecting the accusations of home breaker and home wrecker.

She has never been on the receiving end of a break up, but knows how long someone should grieve and exactly when the other is to stop being blamed.  Funny thing is you also notice other’s who never have never heard those words, “we’re through”, they also know the proper times too. Not only did they and she not support you or care that you had a mental break because this all came on the heals of your Mother’s death, after years of dementia, that unfortunately turned your memories of your past into the last few years of being physically, mentally, and emotionally destroyed by the one person who unconditionally loved you, but had no control over herself anymore. Also the senseless death of your daughter from a first marriage, that you faced alone because she just never got along with her.

I have learned to hate the saying, “walk a mile in their shoes”.  I am supposed to be happy for her because love dictates, that she should be happy with someone else then miserable with you. This whole time the only person who seemed to understand, is the one I pay every week to listen and then just in the 45 minutes I am given. I have been pulling myself out and sliding back into the dirty hole my life has become, all the while having people wonder as they just stand around it “Why I am so muddy and tired.”