Head thoughts

Saw the psychologist today, so of course now I’m over thinking everything. I’m tried of grieving my marriage. What keeps playing in my mind is how could she do this.

How can anyone do this after 20 years and 4 kids and essentially a problem free marriage? I don’t understand how she could have been so troubled to immediately end our marriage and within days bring someone in and essentially get engaged in a month. As far as I know she knew him 2 months. She wasted no time getting married a year later, days after our divorce being final. I mean, I know about instant love and shit, but all the years we had. I think I deserved some form of respect. If it was about money, the here’s my crimes. In 20 years we had 2 vehicles repossessed. Why? Hospital bills, utilities,  and feeding the kids. We were behind on taxes. They were, as I told her, paid with our tax return.

There you go. My crimes. Because of this I have lost everything and everyone. Because of this I had to begin, with nothing, all over.

All I want is to hear from her why? Her life isn’t any different. Same job, same house, same car. The kids are there 24/7 and haven’t changed or seem to be affected. The guy jumped right in playing dad and no one said anything. 20 years of building,  making, and enjoying a life, gone in less than a day as if I was never there, literally, hand to God.