Hard

I am starting to realize the only way through the rest of my days is to harden my heart and soul.

I have been a loving and caring person all these years and it’s gotten me nothing and nowhere.

Two marriages, with kids, both gone. I gave them both all I could. My first, my high school sweetheart. I loved her so much and not a day went by I didn’t tell her. My second, was the love of my life. I gave her everything, including my family’s home. I showed her my love everyday for the 20 years we were together.

Neither of them even so much as act like we had something. I don’t even hear the phrase “our kids” when I do hear from them.

I have never been so lonely and betrayed as I have been with this divorce. My friends, family, and even my kids, all act as this just was meant to be. No one misses me, no one sides with me. I don’t deserve this and now I shut myself off from it all.

My kids will know me as the quiet, mean, but fair man that brought them into this world. They won’t have the relationship I had with my Dad, or the one I had dreamt about when we were all under one roof as a family.

People I meet will no longer see the loving side of me. People I work with will no longer like me, but will respect me. I am done with being the lovable loser in this world even if it means I will no longer enjoy love, friendship, or peace.

WildRose

I think the way you are feeling is a part of the grieving and healing process following divorce (s). By now, you are probably feeling very discouraged but I’m hoping as more time passes you will begin to feel happy again. Life can be good as a single person.

Jodie

I bet you somewhere deep down in your children’s heart they really do love you and they wouldn’t know what to do without you.

Maybe it’s time to talk to the both of your children and finally get what they think because I think you are just guessing that they feel the way you think. And just for the record I don’t think it’s in your nature to change the type of person you are. I know I tried to be a bitch but then I always felt guilty.

Eugene

I got through my divorce 5 years ago, suddenly I felt that I have lost some friends, even lost trust from my family members. I know that it was my fault….I don’t have patient and could not feel happy being around my ex anymore. Probably, my friends like to see us as together, like to see my ex and I treated each other nicely, not like to see who actually I am. Did I expect too much from them? Probably, yes, blindly. And, I certainly did use them to fill with my emptiness, of course they don’t appreciate or truly felt I am a good guy. I’m sorry I’m saying nonsense to you, but I really hope that you feel better and feel that we are still a group animal. I’m still selfish, I probably wanted to use this place to say what I felt after all…my apologies again.