Failure

I’ve just realized I have really failed at life and it’s all my fault. It’s become clear to me for some reason this morning.  It’s not like I had a Scrooge night where I awoke and seen the errors of my way and will strive to overcome it. I woke up and finally had the realization its been me all along and it’s too late.

I can’t repair my relationships. I’ll never be who I wanted, with the people I wanted. I’ve burnt down the forest and I complain that there is no shade. The apologies haven’t worked. The mending hasn’t worked. I am forced into the only forward that I have never been able to be. Alone.

I am pitied by my own children and they are all I have left.