Erased
Do you know what it’s like to be totally erased from people’s lives? I’m not stupid, although a ton of people think of me that way, I understand divorce and breakups. People around here all say I’ve done it all to myself, even a few online also have said it, but I don’t think I did. In fact, I know I didn’t.
My trouble is I take this all to heart. Even with the vile comments and name-calling, I allow into my own issues I have about myself. I made the mistake, again, of clicking on my ex’s Facebook profile. Her pictures, shots of her and him in our kitchen, our deck. The pictures of them with my boys, like a big happy family I was never part of. The blatant cropped photos from years ago that I was a part of. I have said and will again, that I wasn’t a bad person, husband, and father, but I’m treated as though I was. Everyone, EVERYONE, accepted this from day one as if I was never part of my family. The only connection to my kids is my last name and if it isn’t asked, it’s not offered as though they are his.
I have struggled for 3 years to understand and come to terms with how this went down. It would be easy to hate her and wipe my hands of it all if my friends and family were there for me, but even they wrote me off from day one. You’d have to be the most self-centered loner to just roll with it, I am not. I excel at people’s opinions and compliments. Their support and acknowledgments. Their company. None of these things have remotely come from them all since this all blindsidingly happened. * Yes I realize that is not a correct word, but nowadays people say worse, also *
sorry this happenedto you. i hope u have the right emotional support and a trustowrthy friedn who can guide you through this
@journalsecret I have you guys on here, that’s it. I listen and appreciate all the advice, but like a mule I stubbornly refuse to move even though I see the right path.
@newt316 That’s it in a nutshell. You see the right path but stubbornly refuse to move. The only reason why I think this might be so is because you are unable to pull yourself out of the depression you feel. I wish you were able to take one tiny step forward when it comes to the right path though. Just one tiny step and that may start the ball rolling towards your new life, a life that can be a happy life.
@thebestisyettocome Been taking them steps, I have. Life lately has been like a clogged drain, sometimes the water goes down and other times it just bubbles up and you have to wait for it to drain.
@newt316 Great way to describe things!!
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Sorry you are going through this.
I know it’s really hard to pull yourself out of this state, but maybe start with tiny steps of change doesn’t have to be anything big.
Also if you don’t mind me suggestion maybe you can try finding a counselor on Betterhelp, they have helped me a lot through some really tough times.
@fatimae86 @newt316 i agree eith fatima. I hsve a therapist and it has made huge difference. Humans are not meant to suffer problems alone. It’s okay to hire an expert for our emotional problems, no different from hiring a dentist for our dental problems.
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I am sorry that this has happened to you and that you feel this way! I really wish I could give you a big hug! Just know that even though your actual family and face to face friends may have turned away, and even though I am 1000s of miles away, you can vent and chat with me. Online friends are great friends and family! 😘
@ncumisa Thank you
😘
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