Doing a thing

So I’m at my sister’s for Cadens birthday. They are out in the pool, I’m sitting on the deck.

I can’t help feeling my brother in law is exactly like the ex’s husband. They both have the same “better than you” attitudes. I come off like a do nothing bum, eventhough I spent years building a home and a family only to have that ripped away.

Maybe that’s it with people, they see me as weak because I couldn’t hold on to me shit. How I lost my wife to a older man who had legal issues and Jack shit nothing. Of course with the 30 year head start he was handed or stole, he’s some sort of respectable man, all his do nothing years amount to nothing, where I’ve been reduced to the butt of a joke.

My kid just did something wrong in the pool, taking the skimmer pole in the pool. 3 times I told him to take it out to no avail. The brother in law says it once and he jumps to listen. I try to punish him, but my sister steps in and admonishes me like I’m some brother to my own kids. I should be used to it, that’s how it’s always been since Kayla was born in 89

Speaking of Kayla at the end of August it will be 11 years since I lost her. Other than Cadens birthday, I hate this month.