Connection

I long for a connection I will probably never have again. I long for the love and family I once had several years ago and lost without any reason that was ever explained to me.

I see my children, but don’t really raise them. Another man along with my ex does that now. I don’t go to meetings or orientation for college. Doctor appointments or anything.

I drop them off at a house that was my home all my life and now is shut off from me.

I live a drab existence by choice, to guilty to live a more selfish existence. I am to ashamed to do anything more than just exist.

I want love. I want family. Why do I have to have these with strings attached?

What did he do to deserve the life I made?