Bad friend

I’m a bad OD friend. So many of you comment on my endless whining never enough posts and I never get around to thanking you or commenting on your posts.

It’s bad enough that I don’t “journal” correctly, more of an attention grab from a sad depressed man with no “real world” friends.

Is there something wrong when a person knows he’s broken, but can not bring himself to fix it? I mean, I understand self-control, but I don’t realize I’m self sabotaging until I’m well into the 3rd helping. The exercises don’t quiet the despair in my head anymore.

I feel like the only thing that can help is the one thing I know deep in my heart won’t ever come back into my life. As clear as the blue sky it’s gone forever, but somehow your mind won’t accept it.

Much like this post, which I have lost total control of, I started out writing a “love” letter to the several of you who have try so hard for me and turned it into a poor me thing.

I’m broken 💔