A quick thought

I have a friend named Sean. We had always seen things the same and had the same dark humor about it all. I always felt comfortable with him and as a kid I couldn’t ask for more of a brother. Even more than my own brothers.

Well that ultimately ended with apparently all my relationships with my divorce. I just had a memory of when he was talking about driving to Michigan to visit a couple of his friends from when he was in the service. He drove over 600 miles to hang out with these guys, but a 20 minute drive to come and hang out with me is too much. He’s much to busy. He’s not in a position to just lose a few hours on me because of this and that now. Also, he is to busy for me to go there. That’s what has killed me over the few years after my divorce.

My sister kind of summed it all up for me earlier when she said she understands why Patty couldn’t deal with me and left because I seem to always want some acknowledgement.  Maybe she is right. I am stupid for thinking that even my own blood relationships should know me enough to see me suffering and hurting.

Over the last month I have contacted over 20 people and asked how they were. Just out of the blue I sent them texts or emails. Do you know how many did the same for me? 2 people who know me through Open Diary. No friends. No family. Not even the therapist I used to see and suddenly stopped going to has even touched base.