2/6/22

Sitting here looking at the pictures of my sons. From babies to little men. I’m so so proud of each one. Wishing I was more of a constant in their lives.

The common sense of the whole thing is right there staring me in the face. I love a woman who no longer or never loved me. How could a person do what she did for essentially money? I know it happens, you hear and read about it all the time. I hate that I have held such a naivety about how love and life works. I hate that I only see the good in people, when the bad hangs on them like a smell. I hate that I can’t live my life as selfishly as most do.

Yet, I want my boys to be like me in that sense, but I know this world and what it’s becoming will eat them up and spit them out. Maybe what she did is better for them. Maybe this hard lesson and truth will serve them so much more then watching their sad gullible empathic father fall apart.

Day 3…

Lonely Narwhal

Can you fight for more time with them?

4 replies

@boring I get plenty of time, I wish I lived where they could walk right over, but that’s not going to happen. I just miss raising them 24/7

@newt316 Oh I gotcha. How far do you live? I don’t think I could do it without my kids, that’s part of why I’m still married honestly, my kids are 12 and 17 though so they aren’t as small anymore but I still can’t imagine the heartbreak of not seeing them everyday 🙁

@boring About 20 minutes down the road.

@newt316 oh that’s not too bad, are you able to drop by and see them during the week? It might make your weeks easier being able to see them more often than just your weekends. I’m speaking only from experience as a kid who grew up with separated parents, I never felt like my dad wanted to see me, he came and got me every Sunday and took me back home but I never saw him during any other time that wasn’t his scheduled time. I grew up and we grew apart but I reconciled with him as an adult. He’s gone now but I just wish I had had more time with him you know. I think just being around our kids had a way of enhancing our moods. If you can’t I get it, just wondering.