2/10/22

So my brain did it to me again. Once again I am thinking “what if’s” and “if only’s” about my ex and the life I had. It’s getting frustrating. This current headache? For some reason I was thinking about a 25th wedding anniversary. Yeah, how stupid is that. Even if we stayed together that wouldn’t happen until 2029, but for some reason that got me sad.

Damnit, the signs that she’s done with me and over it is as clear as water is wet, ice is cold, or I’m handsome..

I don’t know what is happening with the lady I met online. We have chatted and she has not said anything that makes it seem as though she’s not interested, but the answers come far and few between. I realize people have lives and don’t sit around waiting to instantly answer texts yet, I am chomping at the bit to hear from her and I am losing my s**t not to start writing the “did I do something wrong” and “what’s wrong” texts. I don’t remember trying to date being this hard on me ever. I am totally an over-sharer. That is something I am trying not to do either with her, but I just want to talk to her.. I want her to like me. I want her to want to meet me just as much. I’d be pulling my hair out if I had any….

Am I wrong to think that if someone really likes another they would move Heaven and Earth to meet them?

Sisyphus

The headache we assert is because you expand your possibility space with your thinking.

This is the Way. In the army it was called an AAR. in the basements it was called a self audit.

I’m proud of you. The headache is the physical manifestation of growth of new connections.

The hard part is over, now process and learn from it! Acknowledge the pain, but know it is a memory. And memories cannot hurt us. We can process the pain from the past and it will feel like now, but it is the release you feel

Every time you go back there and gain understanding, a little more of you comes back home with you. This is how we feel it works. And it worked for us, but it took practice and patience and fearlessness.

You have shown all of these! Huzzah!

Keep going my Brother! You got this!