A NEW New Beginnings…

What can I say but WOW!!!

I really did not think that this diary site would be revived, but I am OVERWHELMINGLY grateful that it has been resurrected!

I FINALLY got this diary recovered and have only just begun wading through it, reminiscing and rediscovering who I was 16 years ago when I first began this diary. SIX… TEEN… YEARS… Oh my goodness, that was figurative lifetime ago!  It didn’t take me reading very many entries to realize, I am a COMPLETELY different person.

That may be a DUH! moment for everyone else. However, you never really realize how much things change over time. I knew I have changed and grown as a person over the years, but I guess I have never quite realized exactly how much! I remember most of my childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood being a battle against depression, darkness, and the deception of a severely skewed perception of my life, but reading my own words from my own mind back then…

I truly see the lies of the enemy and how he warped my vision of things around me. I didn’t remember a time where I sincerely believed that my family, mainly my parents, didn’t love me. I do remember feeling and believing that I was worthless. I do remember being convinced to end my own life. I even remember a very close call with some pills because I did not have any fight left in me late one night. I remember the Lord giving me strength enough to get out of bed and vomiting those pills and Him giving me some sort of will to keep going. However, reading over past entries and those words of hopelessness has just brought me to tears. Freshly opening the sadness that I lived with for so many years but also an overwhelming feeling of joy seeing the deliverance in my own life. He restored my relationship with my family. They have become my best friends and I cannot imagine life without them. He has shown me that I do have purpose. I may not know exactly what that purpose is, but I wake up with a joy, peace, and most importantly HOPE that I clearly didn’t know years past.

I am so excited to get back to blogging my life. The good. The bad. And even the ugly. I am excited to see where this journey called life takes me next.

Thank You LORD for NEW new beginnings!