Dilemnas

Ok. I am doing a bit better here. I admit this past weekend I lost control completly but Im calming down more and more each day. So don’t worry I’ll be ok.

I have been stressed about a few things lately. I think the living situation is the worst of it all right now. I feel like all the bills are to expensive for living in such a house. Ok, my house has two floors of rooms filled and I do my own wash but I use cold water to wash my clothes and we hardly use the downstairs except the kitchen of course. And the one bedroom is closed off with the heat turned off. But the heating bill keeps coming in higher and higher. I am the type of person who

gets so upset over figuring out why something is the way it is. See, in this town its hard to find any place that is decent Im not trying to sound picky but this town is very old. MOst people around here dont even care what they rent just as long as they can get their rent money monthly from someone (even if it is a messy,destructive person)anyhow, we did find a really nice place for around here its remodeled with new carpeting and its a decent price for all the room in it but its to big. We come home and just use the computer room, bathroom and bedroom, since there is a t.v. in the bedroom. So now on top of all my other self made problems I have to find a decent place that is the perfect size for us to live. grr.

I know I have been rambling on about my relationship to. And it may sound terrible coming from me when I am in my bad moods but it’s not all that bad. i do have a great boyfriend who loves me very much. I just hate MEN! HAHA.

I will never be satisfied so I have to start changing here and growing up. I know I am hard on myself but if I am not I won’t ever be happy in life. I am just so wrapped up in self made problems. I feel like I have become crazy in the past week and I am a bit off centered lately too. its just so hard to focus on everything at once for me. I don’t know where to begin.

michelle