Best friends

10:pm and I sit here across from my boyfriend whom is on his computer. I just read a few of my old diaries and sat here laughing aloud and crying. Dan just looks at me like I am crazy. This is where Dan and I have our differences. There is no one exceptt the people who I experienced all the times with who can understand why I would laugh and cry from reading my own written words.And so much is lost.

I am so old. Just 25 and my life has seemed to be frozen.

I know we can’t stay young forever and I try. I go out a lot on weekends. I laugh alot. I dance. I have a drink here and there. But I don’t meet people like I use to. I don’t have those girlfriends that would make complete fools out of me or call me selfish because I wouldn’t share my pack of gum with them and then laugh about it.

I guess Im trying to talk about friends here. Is that what has been bugging me latley. I lost my best friend over me paying for a cancelled plane ticket back in October. I said some rotten words in email and I though after appologizing everything was fine but then she just stopped tlaking to me. This girl is the greatest person alive. She and met in 9th grade total opposite but me became best friends through writing. It was always our way of communicating about everything, of course we had a million good times too. But writing in diaries and trading was a big thing or just writing letters, can you believe we both saved every letter ever written. So anyhow, she is living in LA now and I am back in our hometown living. But we have been seperated since after high school when she went to college in Boston. She has always and is today my best friend. I think of her every day. And still think of her as my hero. I don’t know how to make her forgive me for something so small. But obviously she believes that we are different now and I am on a different level then her. I know no mattter who I meet or love she will be my best friend. There are a lot of people whom have left my life or live miles away but she is one who I won’t let go. I dont care how lame it sounds. But I think that in your life there are only a few people you will really connect with and even when they are gone you are still connected no matter what the case.