Habit or something else?

Three things on my mind lately.

One of course returning to work, but we all know how I feel about that so no need to continue talking about it..

Two being making an appointment to see my doctor to discuss TTC #2. Brandon and I are both in agreement to start trying soon.. although he doesn’t want to *know* he is trying.. heh.  But I haven’t made the appointment yet because of course I am still thinking about it….

Three being my kid and his sleeping.  I know lots of factors come into play with sleep- learning something new, house temperature, daily activities, teething, etc.. Last.. Sunday/Monday when Cooper woke up I went to him, he hadn’t woken before midnight for MONTHS so I assumed it was pain which it very well could have been.. But now he is waking again every damn night sometime between 10 and 12.. Thursday night he put himself back to sleep after crying for a bit, every other night he screams BLOODY MURDER, top of his lungs for 20-30 minutes before I head in to him.. I usually cuddle him and end up feeding him and he goes back to sleep.. Sometimes he wakes again at 3 or 4 and sometimes not..

I am afraid that I created a new habit that we have to break.. But my mommy instincts makes me go to him, I can’t help it and when Brandon is skiing or playing video games I have no one to stop me.. or help me.. I don’t know what to do, what i do know is I am exhausted.. Even though I am not asleep during his first wake up it is still exhausting for me.. I lay in bed and over analyze it all..

There was a week before Christmas and slept through EVERY NIGHT.  And now.. two wakenings? W.T.F.

It’s Saturday, and I am tired.. but I am getting my hair cut soon.. and that is exciting.. Just a trim and SIDE bangs.. Even though I want to do something more dramatic.. but I am always scared…

xo