Day 4

Today i made a mistake.

I spent the entire day AGAIN thinking about nothing but alcohol. So I gave in because I’m weak and stupid.

Except… I had less than 1 can of vodka and realized my mistake. Because the disulfiram kicked in!!!

It’s made to stop the breakdown of alcohol in your body and more or less makes you kind of allergic.

My whole body went red like a rash. My eyes were bloodshot. I felt faint. I threw up. My heart beat from racing so bad I thought I was going to have a heartattack. I had shortness of breath. And then finally a throbbed headache to top it off.

That’s just from about 3 mouthfuls.

In a way I guess it’s kind of a good thing that I’ve experienced what’s happens because like fuck I’m doing that again. I got home and slept for 4 hours straight in the middle of the day. And right now I still have that headache and feel awful.

Total mistake. But I think lesson learnt.