Day 3

Day 3…. its been the worst so far.

I’ve waken up thinking of drinking. And had the thought in my head all day.

It’s  5.39pm right now and I’ve given my keys to my husband so I cant drive anyway and get anything.

I’ve had the Valium. And I’ve the other drugs. I’m drinking water. I’m doing everything right. But fuckkkkk.  I’m so anxious.

I spent a few hours weeding the gardens. I spent a few hours eating snacks and playing games. And know I’m knitting. Fucken knitting.

Today has been tough. I’m mentally exhausted.  I just want to have a drink. That’s all I want. It’s all I’ve wanted since I’ve woken up.

I need sleeping pills so I just can knock myself out when I have days like this and just sleep though all this shit instead.