You Got This!!

That is what everyone is saying to me. You got this! You got this! You got this! If only I believed in myself as much as everybody else did.
I mean of course many of those people could just be fake as they don’t really know me and are just being polite. But maybe they are all right and I can do this.

Been at this new job for a lil over 2 months now and I still don’t know what the fuck I am doing. My boss and HR are not screaming positives to me and often feel like I won’t pass this probation. But what I have also come to realise is that I am not sure if I want this job so much anymore.
Now I could be feeling this way because I am not doing well at it and history has proven that when things get tough it I don’t do well I bail. But it also could be because this job is not everything that I thought and wanted. I left my previous job not only because I needed to earn more and needed a change but j was tired of working on my own. I would sit at me desk and basically the whole day could pass without seeing someone or talking to someone. Everyone was working remotely and I didn’t want that. Guess what my new job is hybrid so basically everyone is either working remotely or sit on the other side of the office and are so invested in their job.

I can’t afford to just wing it and quit and hold on until something comes along…so now I am on the job hunt. I need to have back up in case I am not asked to stick around when my probation ends and maybe I just need to have a job more suitable for me. The people I like at my job all work remotely because they live far from the office. And the people I speak to in the office are so clicky and groups. I am too old for that shit!!