What is Love?

That is what my therapist asked me on Friday! Easy question right???? Not really!
Yes, it is a feeling you have for someone else but do I have it for myself?

I know when push comes to shove there is nothing I wouldn’t do for the people I love and feel add to my life and know I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for them. I came to realise how my love for myself is slightly questionable and how I do things for us knowing I would get their love for me in return. And that isn’t really loving me when I have to be something or do something to feel love.

my therapist went on to explain how I need to love myself before I have enough love to give others or for others to be able to feel the love from me and that made me think about why my husband has called me cold sometimes. I went on think about how because I don’t show him enough love he pulls back and is so hard. But then I realised how I was making this all about him when in fact I was discovering and bettering myself.

But maybe if I loved myself more and in turn showed that love more and my husband would feel it more he would be more of the person I need. Okay now I sound stupid. Maybe I am not loving myself and so settling for the breadcrumbs he gives me….

I just wish I could go back 10+ years ago and have gone down another path.

I think I know what I need to do but I don’t know how do it and I am scared of what is means.