…Well Not Really…

Everything seems to be pleasant now and normal. Even though I am still upset and trying to stand strong…

He told me last night that he will go to AA…he found a meeting conveniently on Thursday.

Part of wants to give him the support to follow through and go to the meeting and to stay on that path.

But another part of me…a larger part of me is telling me that we have done this before and been there…he could just be manipulating me to believe him and then forget about all that has happened.

I am so confused. My sister is coming down this week…

My husband decided this morning that he will take me to the doctor for my back, and he would deal with being a couple of minutes late for work. He tell me this once I am dressed and ready to take him to the bus stop. So it kinda felt like he didn’t want to take the bus, saw that he had the time to take me and wouldn’t be astronomically late…prob just 40 minutes and he would have a proper explanation for that….but now I am wondering is he just making me think that he cares and trying to soften me up or is he really changing and trying? Today when he dropped me off at work, he actually kissed me goodbye. I mean we have done that before, pretty much every day but I am the one that initiates it, today he is the one that pulled me in for a kiss goodbye.

So at the beginning of the weekend I was prepared to tell him to leave and on Saturday I sent him the message, pretty much saying that. I spent the weekend doing what I wanted to do and got out the house and did things…even though I had to limp around, I spent the whole weekend sleeping in the spare bedroom and pretty much keeping to myself. But now…now a huge part of me wants to forgive and forget…but there is another part of me that wants to give him the chance to fix himself…and another part that doesn’t really trust that things will change.

Happy at Home

I have walked in your shoes…it is not an easy decision to make. If you love him then it will be hard to walk away, I know. Just don’t let it go on for years and years like I did. Like I said it the other note, life is too short for that. You deserve to be happy.

3 replies

Thank You, @happyathome.

His drinking and all this chaos has been going on and off since we first started living together and that was in about 2013. Should I still believe him and give him a chance?

@ncumisa How many times has he gone to AA and tried to get better?

Oh boy the AA Saga. Many years ago…about in 2013/4 I went with him to 2/3 AA meetings. Up until last night he would tell me that he doesn’t believe in AA and admitting/accepting to having a problem.

When we broke up; November/December 2015 (I called the police on him and kicked him out, we weren’t married then) he went to an Addiction Rehab.

But I honestly don’t think he took either of those places seriously…

I think the whole issue is that he doesn’t accept that he is an Alcoholic, and just thinks that he needs to drink less. Like he can go weeks and months without alcohol, but then that one draft has to be followed by another 5 in a time period of like 3 hours. Basically when he drinks he needs to empty the bottle in the quickest way possible.