Thinking Out Loud

So he is on leave for a few weeks and even though the weekend was rather shitty yesterday was nice. I had his attention and we were able to connect. Yes he was drunk when I came home, so that didn’t put me in a good mood…but through it all we had our fun and joked and laughed…

Of course he fell asleep early so it was quite nice having the rest of the night for myself.

Gave me some time to think….and even tough I have thought all of this before and I have tried and tried and failed…I just got to keep at it. As long as I am wanting it and still trying it is never over.

So I looked up foods that are good and that are bad for women with PCOS…kinda made me irritated that my gynae never mentioned any of this…or mentioned the supplements I could take to help regulate my body.

Just got a notification that my Health Insurance has been stopped as I owe money…FUCK! I hate this constant circle that I am in….when I can finally breathe things are fucked up with my relationship….then that is sorted and I then have financial issues…and when that seems to me managed I feel stuck…. Life is a vicious circle.

An old school friend of mine just announced on Facebook that she is pregnant with her 2nd girl. I mean I lost touch with her right after high school…in fact during high school we drifted and we used to be so close…kinds sucks…

But anyway I am happy that she is pregnant but I am also jealous. I sense she is not married and just lives with her baby daddy….who from looks of it is much older than us but hey she is happy and now she is having her 2nd child. I want to know when that will be me posting up ultrasound pictures for the Facebook world to see…

I even have a Pinterest Page for a boy’s nursery and a girl’s nursery….I know what my kids names are going to be. I even have an idea of how I would tell my husband that I am pregnant.

I don’t think anything in this world could make me happier than having my own little baby. Biologically or Adopt