The Middle

Okay so I don’t know if I can really use these lyrics to really put through exactly what I am feeling right now…but here it goes!!

Every year we say it. And every year we think we will learn but it is always the same shit!

I SWEAR JANUARY HAS EXTRA DAYS!! WHY DID I HAVE TO BUY THAT OR EAT THAT!! WHEN AM I GOING TO LEARN??

Pretty much since late December my husband and I have been rubbing cents together to put petrol in the car so we can get to work…get food in our stomach so we wouldn’t feel that empty feeling in the pit of our stomach…at least that is what I feel pretty much every morning that I wake up these days…

I mean it sure does suck when you go into the kitchen and open the fridge, just to basically be able to see the back of it because it is so empty…and then when you know you need to whip something up for supper for your husband and for yourself you got to scratch you head and wonder how you are going to make a meal out of the very limited stuff you have in the cupboard.

The Other Day I think I turned my husband into a Veggie…he loved my Frozen Veg Pasta dish I whipped up. 

How did we get here? Well simply by living greater than we can afford…yeah but that isn’t entirely the truth. With the days that we live in and with how much things costs your salary can only go so far…

  

 Those are just the few things that basically cover half of my salary every month. We got to live so we need to eat buts let’s not forget to pay for Rates and Taxes and Levies and…of course

  

Oh and let’s not forget about …I still don’t get it! How parents are meant to want the best for their kids but will hold them back just so they can share in the fruits of their hard earner money.

So by the time all the debit orders have gone through and I have stocked up the fridge…we are left with barely anything to see the month through.

My husband showed me this picture of a Poor Plant watering a Rich Plants soil while the Rich Plant just filled the Poor Plant’s Water Canister. Reminds of how life is. the Poor man is always doing the ground work to grow everyone while the people at the top just give enough so the poor guys keep working.

I think I have gone off track…

Anyway…so last year when my dad bailed me out of my major debt he made me promise not to take a loan again. So every few months I have been asking him for money and I feel like now it is enough and so since yesterday I have been speaking to a Banker about getting a loan just to see my husband and I til pay next week…but the nagging feeling of going against my father and then the idea of having to pay that loan back every month…just all the added pressure has made me chicken out and figure that we can last a few more days. I mean I get paid next Tuesday…and him at the end of the month…I really don’t get how he gets paid always at the end of the month…like doesn’t his boss know that certain things need to be paid before that….well I guess that is where Budgeting would come in.

My father in law lives in the UK. I have never met him, but have spoken to him a few times.

Often I wonder why is it okay for me to just simply ask my dad for money, when my husband could just ask his father for some Pounds and we could just multiply that by like 18.7??

I know his father helps his sister and mother financially but couldn’t he help us a lil. When it comes to finances and getting things in order I just wish my husband would come to the party too….okay I am being wrong saying all that because he does help me out when he can and he does do things too and he is trying. I think I am just too stubborn to ask for help and like everyone thinking that I have it all….and I just wish people would sometimes just know without me having to say something.