The Climb…

 

Every moment that I get, I am picturing how I will furnish that house I want so bad! I am picturing how my life will change and the things I will do…if only I had the capital to branch out and do it!

But then the debit orders go off…my husband has a melt down and I am transported to reality, and I go back to thinking just how unattainable all that is and how playing the  and  is only me wasting my money...I mean how realistic is that I will guess the right 5 – 6 numbers and win? Well others do so why can’t I? Are there really winners out there or just made-up winners to garner the hype and keep people gambling and wishing?

 

I often think I have it all figured out…do what others do…  but after the debit orders and the monthly payments and filling up the fridge for the week/month and meeting monthly expenses and then after a tough month of work you want to still live some kind of enjoyment, sp what is there left to save/invest?

I am a wife and even though this isn’t a thing my husband seems to live by, I know I am part of a pair and so what I do affects him and so I am always trying to keep my head as high as possible and trying to make it all work. And so I know if we had to live life just according to our means…our lives would be very boring and so I do what I can to make it fun…I will dip into my personal savings to budget for that fun and create moments to remember but afterwards and I look at my bank account and my depleting savings I break down and wonder 

I know if something POSITIVE financially doesn’t happen for us in the next few weeks we are 

But hey I am a  and someway and somehow 

 (yeah easy for you to say Miley, you have inheritance of the millions you father made and the millions you have made for yourself too – well you deserve all that, but I am just being upset that my father didn’t have the Billy Ray Cyrus talent too) 

I cannot break! I unfortunately have a character that doesn’t like showing my weakness or asking for help. I also chose to fall in love with a man that seems to be unable to handle his stresses and is unable to hold a household together, but he does seem to think that he is  Just when I think I have it all balanced, he does something that makes me want to scream! He comes running to me thinking that I know what to do and can find a solution and fix the problem…when in all honesty 

Okay so I am human…I know once I reach this goal (If I ever do!) I will still want more and there will be something else!

 

I am not getting any younger so I don’t have time on my side and I need to reach that goal fairly soon! I know I will not be 100% happy until I have that   (or at least as close to perfect as possible) and until I have my   (Just realized that I have posted about this probably a million times already – but maybe if I put it out there enough it will eventually come true!)

 

(One day I hope to reach the top!)