Take! Take! Take

I am feeling like a punching bag. Okay not literally but these days all I get from my husband is badgering and requests…sometimes demanding stuff and when I don’t to his liking…  (although according to him he hasn’t been sulking, just been busy with his stock-broke training (never mind the hangover sleeping he has been doing most of the weekend) and when I mention things that are bothering or query anything… or 

 I have to always be there for him…be the shoulder for him to cry on…to lean on…give a listening ear…Now I don’t mind being and doing all that…but  Okay he has been there for me at times, but it tends to be only when it suits him, and he has nothing better to do.

Like in mid-September, I bought myself a solo ticket for my , when I told him I bought a ticket just for myself…he asked if he could come too…so I bought him a ticket…but he was in some mood on Saturday…don’t know if it was just that he was drunk or sulking or in a bad mood but he chose to rather sit in his car and not come with me. Throughout the whole night while I was there, he would phone me to ask where I was and to just give him a listening stage to go on about the Rugby game I was missing, and he was watching for me… Through it all I did have a good night out and was glad I went solo so I didn’t have to babysit or attend to him…but I did see how my old friends and classmates had grown up and were a living lives that I only wish I could be part of or also be living…

Okay so I have just started a good job that could possibly go somewhere…and I am enjoying it.

So recently I have started looking into adoption…

 My life seems to revolve around, work, downloads and bed. Okay recently I have been trying to make a change in that, but I feel like my husband is holding me back. He doesn’t seem to be eager to go out and explore life outside of our flat…unless it is his on his terms or something that he likes. Like he doesn’t like the mall so he will not go…there aren’t that many other options…

Neither of us are big fans of the beach and can’t say it is beach weather yet.

No friends of hours are inviting us to  at their place all the time. Okay that is a slight lie, a few weeks ago I arranged to go watch Rugby at a friend’s house and this weekend him and his family is coming to us…

Anyway, back to everything that I have to be for him…

 I may complain about low bank account or something he will still come to me for money to buy  and  and 

 I should complain about a husband who is sleeping off a hangover!  I should want to sleep in a lil since my husband kept me up with his snoring or asking me petty questions like WHAT IS MY LAPTOP PASSWORD??!!

Lately I have been feeling like I don’t want to be married anymore…or at least not to my husband. And I know I have said and posted this before, but I really wish I had the courage and strength to just  

A few years ago, my sister called him selfish. I have come to learn that he give just enough to make me believe that he loves me and he says the right stuff to hold me…wonder what will happen when the bank dries really dry and I don’t give anymore. Would it really be so bad to be on my own?