Sitting on the Shopping Centre Toilet…

Okay I am not actually using it but it is so cold in the store that I work in I couldn’t handle being in it anymore so needed some time to warm up…and I needed some solitude so I could cry.

I suppose a huge part of me being so emotional is because I haven’t been taking my anti-depressants but .

I a working in a job that I really dislike…yes I know everyone dislikes their job at some point or many people are doing something that they don’t like…but I am so sick of trying and trying to better my life and my marriage and home and then to wake up and having to face the shit and hardships again.

My bank account is in overdraft again…and I keep calling my car insurance to cancel my membership but they keep debiting my account…

My husband is also in overdraft and seems to think that when he has given his contribution then that is it…

 But don’t want to over use the  (Don’t  have money to buy more electricity)

Think we have enough food to last us until next week when get paid…but then what? Got bills to meet and all that crap. You know I moaned about this to my husband yesterday and he went on about how he hates living .

This past weekend I applied to some jobs and I am hoping and praying I get good news and soon…I cannot continue to work where I am working…

The aircon is so high and when I complain to center management about, my co workers ask them to turn up the air con…so I am out numbered and freeze at work and it is so warm outside the store and generally outside, so my body temp is fluctuating every 7 hours and I am blowing my noise constantly.

The constant change in shifts is exhausting. And one needs to get up early, when working late shift, so can do things that need to be done…this is one of the reasons why I left retail work, and now I am back in it.

My boss mentioned yesterday how one of the directors wants the workforce to shrink…so do have less people opening and closing the store….like there is already not enough with only 2 opening and closing…not he wants there to be only 1. So gotta close the shop when need to use the  and how does one do all the end of day stuff on their own? Okay the banking stuff if manageable but how can you focus on that when clients come in? And then you have to clean the store too…

I got a  message on our work group chat about how we should keep the back office/canteen clean and clean up after ourselves….find it funny how the person who sent it, is one of the people who messes it up the most and does the least cleaning.

I have asked him countless times not to VAPE in bed?

This morning while I as making the bed…guess what I found on his side of the bed, under the duvet? 

I just changed the linen and just the night I told him to sit up when he is eating and begged him not to mess on the bed…he even joked how I was going to leave a stain on the bed before him…I have never done that! I may have left crumbs from  or … so now on clean white linen there are food stains…